Mr. Dallas

Being indecisive is one of my best worst qualities. It means I am easy to please, but also means I have no intention of making a decision unless I have to. And even then, when I know I have to I become even more stubborn and then can't even make up my mind.

Does this confuse you? Imagine living this all the time.

It is certainly hard when a relationship is involved.

I buckled and joined okcupid. I talked to some people, but none really peaked my interest until February 14th. Yes, yucky V-day. We sent messages back and forth and then texted for a bit. we decided we would be each other's Valentine's for the last 40 minutes. He called and we talked until 5 a.m. Insane! It continued. We talked on the phone for hours every day, and when we weren't talking we were in constant communication via text.

I was smitten. I had a crush. And he was crazy, crazy for me. He liked me even more than I liked him... and that is something I am not used to.

He lives in Dallas. So I went 2 weekends home with my roommate, and he and I met halfway in the mall. I went home with him and we had pizza, watched Idol, and made brownies. We were respectful in those areas ;) Didn't go too far, but we did sleep in the same bed.

But the indecision set in. I liked him when he talked business and was serious. I liked him flirty and joking. But then he'd get really goofy. Like too goofy. And I didn't like him so much.

And then... then there was Eric. I'm not over him. He, friends, is my ideal match. He would accept me... erm... whoever he ends up with... as a stepmother to his kids. He would accpet any of her children as his stepkids. Perfect.

"Dallas" has already told me he wants his own family and would never consider himself a stepfather to my child. He wouldn't be mean, but he said he might be jealous.

So since I rarely have my son now, since Jeff got custody, I thought I would let him get to know me and then move from there.

Smart Ashley knows what she should do. She should call it quits. But she could talk to him every day for hours and hours, so it's confusing.

Eric is not available, and although I often think this summer if I am single I will text him and ask how life is. I can't let go of that. Which means it's unfair to Dallas. Which means I am being unfair. Which is not what Ashley normally is.

I am so wishy-washy. I know I need to get over Eric, because well, I don't think it could happen. I could've happened, but we had the worst timing available to mankind. It sucks, and it saddens me.

I just feel ultimately, I could do better than Dallas. But I would miss someone texting me as much as he does and our late night conversations. But I know what I'm like when I really like someone, and I am slowly fading away from that with him. And I know if I pull the plug we can't be friends.

So I debate whether to spring for it, or give him another chance... He plans to come see me in a week.