Breakin' Hearts...

Wow. I have no clue where to begin.

I broke up with Dallas. There are a lot of reasons. Not to say newly cliche', but I guess I "Just wasn't that into him." I feel in some ways he was so crazy about me that he would have told me anything I needed to hear. I sat at the park and broke it off on the phone. His tune about my son changed... before he spoke of not wanting to be a stepdad ever. When I broke it off with him he talked about how he hadnt met my son before so couldn't judge, and wouldn't it be my son's choice to look at a new husband of mine as a stepdad or not... not my or the man's choice.

But here's the real clincher. I've come to the conclusion I could very easily fall in love with Eric. I'd have to look back and see if I nicknamed Eric. lol* But he's the one that took me on an official date and is from Houston, is getting a divorce and has 3 kiddos. Anyway, I can't get him off my mind... and I am not that girl. Not the girl that keeps dwelling on someone this hardcore.

Love comes to mind when I think of him. And I am the girl who's afraid of love. I'm the girl who stops breathing, whose heart stops beating for a couple second, who feels like either running miles or throwing up when I think about L-O-V-E. And to feel it for a man who has walked out of my life, because his own life is too complicated.... it's painful.

Dallas is taking it hard. We are still facebook friends, and since Monday his statuses have involved alcohol. And he does not drink. This is what I do. I break hearts. But I suppose karma's fair, because my heart is covered in band aids and stitches.

I keep trying to fill my heart holes with other things, and as of yet they all fall flat and are so monetary.

Ladies & Gentlemen.... I need a vacation! :)

Good thing is I have a great book idea I am going to start, because the best writing comes when I am in a dark place in my life. lol*