GaGa Guy!

So, some of you may remember me telling you about the guy who liked to talk God-awful amounts about himself and how wonderful he is!

Well, new story! Same guy. John & I call him Gaga Guy, because John once saw him at a Gaga themed party.

The other night I was working with Michael G. I was feeling sick and a bit grumpy and not really wanting to be there when Gaga Guy came up to the bar. Gaga Guy has a crush on Michael and Michael finds it uncomfortable and disconcerting. Gaga tries to talk Michael's ear off and Mike's so sweet he uncomfortably allows it.

He made a joke when Mike asked him what he'd like, "What do people normally want when they come up to this counter?"

I say, "Caffeine?"

Gaga counters, "Coffee. I'm not looking to buy a new car."

Oi vey! Order your damn coffee already! He does, but still thinks it's open mic night at the Sweet Eugene's.

Gaga Guy to Mike & I: So the other day I went to a restaurant. I had a bad waiter, well I mean he was bad until I had a conversation with the manager, and then he got better. Anyway, so the bill comes and I ask him, 'Would you rather have a $5 tip or an $11 tip?' He tells me that a $5 is fine. I told him I was going to give him a $10, then he tells me oh a $10 would be great. I tell him too late.

"Well a few nights later I go to another restaurant, and after the meal I ask the waiter, 'Would you rather have a $11 tip or a $15 tip' -- he was a better waiter and it was a fancier place. You know what he tells me? 'I prefer a $20 tip' he says. So you know what I did?"

Me: Gave him a $20 tip?

Gaga Guy: I gave him a $24 tip. I mean he had such a good answer!

Me (and normally I am not this crude, he just bothers me): 4 extra dollars for having the balls to ask for it?

Gaga Guy: Well, I don't say things like that word. I guess it's just because you're domesticated.

Me: (shocked gasp)

Gaga Guy: So would you like the $2 or the change?

Me: I'm pretty sure you owe me the $2 for giving me such a burn!

Gaga Guy: Huh?

Me: You just called me domesticated. Are you serious with that? That's offensive.

Gaga Guy: What doesn't it just mean native?

Me: No. You just called me a house pet. (or a housewife I suppose, but at that moment I felt I had grown a tail and whiskers)

Gaga Guy: Oh I had no idea! You get the $2 & the change.

Ladies & Gentlemen, no sir. You do not call this girl a house pet. Now he tried to give me some jibberish about English being his second language. But I assure you he does not have but a hint of an accent. And he speaks quite fluidly. Remember, "I have worked for the President of Peru!"

Anyway, jetting out, but my grandma found this story hilarious, so thought I'd share!!

Peace, Love, & Cappuccino!