Time Heals All Wounds

I should hope so! But needless to say bruises may go but scars really like to stick around. Neosporin is a great tool for this. Wish we could dole out some figurative amounts.

So I facebook stalked my ex. Silly me. Just wanted to see what he was using as his profile pic, because we have mutual friends and I saw part of it and it just looked like a sad face. But it wasn't. It was a quizzical face. Hand on his cheek in thought. But then I got to see the pages he joined. And he has joined one called, "You aren't sorry you did it, you're sorry you got caught." What?!?

THAT'S his story?!? Not that he emotionally and better yet physically abused me for 3.5 years. He has the balls to tell people I cheated? Of course he is a liar. And of course he has ALWAYS pulled the sympathy card. And you know, I should've known.

I remember now going to the court hearing back in July and going to the pizza shop to see my former boss. Jay had asked me if I were seeing someone. I told him no... well I wasn't. He said Jeff told him I was. Now say I was... again I was not... how in the haddes would Jeff know. This is also coming from the man who asked me last March if I were now a lesbian. "Yes, yes I am. See what you're abuse did to me?"

Look. Normally I really don't throw him under the bus. If someone asks why we didn't work out I am honest. But it's not one of those things... "My husband beat me! Have sympathy!" Because personally, though it's an awful, foolish time in my life, I know there are women and children that have had far, far worse. And look where I am now? Free. Less than a week away from divorce. Happy as I have been in all my adulthood (starting at about 20). With a new perspective on life and who I am.

Am I bitter? On small occasions. But overall making a really stupid mistake (which if I allow myself I could kick myself for it until kingdom come) only made me stronger as a person. He did not marry a cheat, but I did marry an abuser. Hopefully, now I know better.

Is he bitter? Oh! Most definitely. And his biggest way to get back at me is through our son. And that shows... it absolutely shows... the kind of person he is. He would harm his son and his son's time with his mom just to feel some sort of justification. "My wife left me for another man. And she left me being a single father. I guess I just wasn't good enough for her." And someone, anyone, will stroke that ego. What a mean girl. How awful for you. Can I give you a blow job?

Oooops... okay that bitterness eeked out. Forgive it. Umm... anyway, and no I don't care if he dates. I am practically dating! Just as long as she is smart enough to see what I did not. I don't want him to do to another girl what he did to me. I can't imagine someone else feeling like the walking dead. Loving a man with all her heart and him stomping on it with a very dirty boot. Making her feel... what I felt... what that strange, insecure, forsaken girl I used to know felt.

And let him draw out the sympathy card. Because eventually he is see through. And to be for real, what do I care what people up there think of me. Let them think I screwed the whole WVU football team for all I really care! :D Haha!

So I hope that one day, if only for Ashton's sake, he won't be so bitter and we can have a semi-working relationship. Because though in Ashton's eyes Jeff will be the bad guy if he keeps this up... I don't want that for our son.