Death

This week, a friend died. Sally. Until this week I had no idea how much she meant to my brother Dylan. He's 18. A bright, sensitive, wittily sarcastic, stoic young man. He is rather popular here in town.

I have very vaguely touched on the distance I have with my mother. I love her, but I do not as close a bond as I would like to have with someone who should be a motherly figure. The same, I feel, goes for my brother. Though he is a better man than I am and placates her.

The reason I mention this is because I believe Sally was my brother's replacement as a mother. He loved her dearly and in his eulogy to her said several times what a special woman she was. He said that when he first met her he used to refer to her as Stacy's mom, then Mrs. Linder, which turned into Mrs. Sally, and finally he called her Aunt Sally.

One day he was going somewhere with two of her daughters and Sally told him, "Now you take care of my girls." After that he said he came up with his title of being, "Protector of the Linder Household." A name he deemed himself.

Sally had fought and conquered cancer through going into chemo. Last Spring her eldest daughter was getting married. Dylan and Sally were setting up the church the night before the wedding when she said to him, "Dylan, I haven't told the kids yet, or friends, but I want you to know the cancer is back." My brother knew before her own children and most the family. I think only her husband and maybe a very select few knew. But she trusted him with this information.

Sally had made a conscious decision to not go through treatments again, but to live out the remainder of her life. Not everyone agreed with this decision, including at least one daughter, but it was hers to make. She was told she had 1-3 years. And this was sometime in the Spring. So her death came sooner than was anticipated.

My brother also explained in his eulogy that recently Sally told him she had used to work in a daycare when Dylan was about 4 and took care of him. She said, even back then she knew he was a special kid. And in the last 2 and half years that she had been reacquainted with him she saw that he truly was a special young man. He said, "And all of you are here, because Sally was a special woman."

And I sit back an adoring sister. Dylan IS special. He has an amazing heart and it blows my mind on nearly a daily basis. He brings such joy into people's lives... not just Sally's.

And I know I don't have that impact on people. I know that his gift to always make people feel comfortable and happy is such beautiful thing. He has a sincere heart that I wish more people possessed. And through this awful situation he has grown even more.

This year, since I moved home he and I have been closer than we ever were before. I can genuinely say -- about the boy that used to annoy the hell out of me with his perfect attitude -- he is one of my best friends. One of my three best friends. And I am blessed to have him in such a close proximity of my life.