Manager Boy & Cancer Hearts

Let's talk about that one boy. You know, my manager crush that I used to talk about.

If you are newer or have a foggy memory as many are prone to these days. This blonde boy works with me. 2 or 3 days after I first realized I actually had a crush on him (it came as a shock, yes) he informed me in a delighted sort of way that he had a date. And told me the happy times of what his plans were for said date. Crestfallen it made me.

Well they went out twice I guess, but she had had a recent break-up and it was a no go. Then I "dated" that Dallas guy. Broke his heart, because he would say minor, hurtful things and kept saying something to the effect that he didn't want to be a baby's daddy... as if. Then I guess Blonde Manager dated someone else who went crazy. And now we are both single and play a little cat & mouse.

We hang out outside of work maybe once a week with other work people. Sometimes we talk a lot, sometimes none at all. I know he likes me, but he's younger than me (I know people! I know! lol), and I think he has a complex about it.

My friends and I went to dinner, and afterward I went back up to work with John to retrieve my laptop. John is my bestest guy friend and he works with us too, and often helps me instigate getting Manager boy out with us. I was hyper. Jumping at work, working off the clock. But Manager and I didn't say anything to each other. He was sad & it felt awkward. John & I had made him come to John's the night before to watch a movie, and he thanked us because he was home being moody alone.

So after I left Sweet's John & I went to HEB to get chick beer to go and watch a movie. On the way to John's I texted Manager, "Cheer up, Buttercup!" Just to make him smile.

Then I told him if he says hi to me next time I'll give him a feel-better hug. Poor dear.

I fell asleep on John's couch, though I liked the movie I was wiped out after my hyper bought at work. I woke up to my phone telling me I had a text. It was manager. He told me that the rain made him moody and basically lonely ~~ in other words than that, but I guess I don't want to expose how he put it.

I told him it was heartbreaking and how I loved Texas rain and reading and snuggling a cat.

Of course, b/t you and me I would take a snuggle buddy, but I thought that would be too forward.

Then I went on a tangent about his and my zodiac signs... we're Cancers -- a good people. Moody is our way. And we're romantics. And we're family oriented.

I realized in typing that... maybe that's why I loved Jeff. My family isn't close, not the way I cancerian wants it. So I went about "replacing" my family with normalcy. And then I was too blind to see Jeffrey for what he was. And I married him. Honestly, though I was blind, I knew a big part of my draw to Jeff was his family. I loved them all. I still don't know how he fits in with them. His family is very loving and embracing. He's a bad egg.

Anyway, the point. He opened up to me, and I kinda feel honored. As a fellow Cancer I do know how hard that is. It doesn't come naturally and we have to be in a good place to do it. I mean I know what he told me wasn't earth shattering or anything, but it is more than his usual.

Cancers often give you a glimpse and in my experience (or what people have told me) it leaves you craving more...