London

Well today I leave for London. Yikes! It's exciting. It's nerve-wracking. Its a new experience.

Passport ready! And yes, it's an awful picture. For some reason things that have "flat" pictures always give me chubber cheeks. It's a very odd thing. Had to take a new license pic... same deal.

Well, yesterday was a fun slam everything in my suitcase and run to Houston, since we were late. Harm and I decided I could repack here with the things I really do want. So that's what I did this morning. Repacked, folded, stuffed. I might need to lessen it more. Not sure yet. I need to have room to bring my family stuff back. Haha! But I'll bet I was a sight in the little Sky convertible with a huge suitcase on my lap because trying to get it into the trunk was funny and unlikely.

Geez, I am so nervous I have never been overseas before! I know it'll be great. I know it's an experience that I've always wanted, so I am not complaining.... but the butterflies are making good work of my stomach.

By 9:30 a.m. tomorrow I will be in London. Their time. What it'll be like 3:30 here? Geez... jetlag should be interesting!

I'm going to try and put some of my newest poems on my other blog real quick. :)

Hey folks,

I know it's been forever!! So here's a mini-update...

1) I've moved! I am no longer living with the crazy overly religious/judgmental girl! Freedom!! Today I went to move out the rest of my stuff. She never asked me to leave it, had told me I could keep it there until August. She wrote me 2 days ago and said I had to get it out before my trip (I leave on Saturday) or her dad was going to sell it. I was unhappy about that. I mean ask me to move it nicely, okay... but threaten to SELL it??

2) My trip............. LONDON!!!! Yes, I am serious. :D Going for 4 days. I have friends that are going for business and asked me to tag along. I'm thrilled, never been out of the country - only been to Canada & Mexico outside of the USA.

3) I got my acceptance letter from Blinn. YAY!!! But they want me to send them my SAT scores. Joy.

4) Jeff, my ex, has his new gf living with him for the last month. They started dating in January. That's really nice for my son. I think he called her Mom. :( Jeff promised he wouldn't allow that. But why should I trust him. Oh yeah, I don't. :)

My New Philosophy...

"If I don't love it; why do I own it?"

I need to start purging things from my life. Clothes, books, jewelry, papers, etc. Especially with the appending move. Why have I added things to my life - and more importantly kept them - when they haven't given me any satisfaction in awhile? Nope. Don't need that. I need to look at my belongings differently. They should bring joy to my life not just stress because they are wasting space.

And you can help! :) I have pack rats for plenty of my family members, so I need encouragement and maybe even ideas of what I should asking myself when I look at things. Because I have this awful habit of talking myself into "one day" needing it.

I've already gone through all my clothes and 1/2 my jewelry. My little sister will be happy. I have a lot of cute clothes that just don't fit me right anymore that will work out really well for her probably. And some jewelry that I am just too "old" for.

The paperwork is the stuff I'm scared of. I am always afraid of throwing away things I made need later. Siiiiigh... Especially when it comes to my divorce.

Anyway, hopefully this reaches you and you can either encourage me with how you do it, or maybe it even encourages you to join my journey and "purge" your own life!!

Let ya know how it goes! ~Ashley

Well, I guess I oughta blog something.

Still not completely over the shock of Jeff's new housemate to be. Sigh. I don't care until I really think about it.

If my dreams are any indication for life I think my parents may divorce. I've had the strangest dreams about them lately. I know they are unhappy, and dad has dealt with a lot with mom. I think they have both come up with mental breakdowns. Dad's primarily from the house burning down last July. Construction on it is going well. I would be pretty devastated if they ended, mostly because mom could not function & she's been out of the working world for 20 years. But I would understand. But I would not want mom to use me as a crutch or Maw-maw. Neither of us have the ability for all that.

Uhm. Had 2 job interviews at MHMR. I will not be getting either job sadly. One of them really liked me, but because I plan to return to school in the Fall it wouldn't work out well. So I continue on in the life of an underpaid barista. Joy. At least for the most part I do enjoy my job! :)

I just got slammed with a HUGE HUGE HUGE phone bill. My fault. Chatting it up with Dallas. I have changed my plan to unlimited talk time. Thank God. But now it'll go up and I have to figure out how I will make payment plans. Esp. when child support can start anytime now. I need a second job. I really, really wanted the MHMR job. I told one of the ladies I would go ahead and attend the jr. college here in town if I could have it. I think I told her too late though. Siiiigh.

Oh my life is so.... befuddled.... and mom texted me a billion times. First while I was working and then after I found out my phone bill is astronomical. And then she got upset with me not texted back. Telling me she was having a rough electronic day and had cried. I replied to her texts about coming over this week adding. "I am having a bad day too." She says, "Crying?" like that obviously my day isn't as bad as hers, because I probably haven't cried. I replied, "Yes."

Why did I cry? My phone bill? Yes. And I am putting my wedding dress on Craig's list finally. So I took pics of it. On my laptop that I have internet on I don't have any wedding photos, but on my desk top I do but no internet. So I went through our wedding photos and took pics with my digital camera (so ghetto I know!) to post. Those were a little sad, but the ultimate sad moment was seeing our cat Mr. Incredible's pictures. He died a few months before I left Jeff. He got outside and I thought he'd come back in b/c he doesn't like snow... but he didn't and the neighborhood dogs got him. I was devastated. And seeing his pictures, and even writing this, has thrown me over the edge, so I sat on the floor and cried.

Over spilled milk. I know.

But there's Jeff. Breeding Golden Retrievers. Living with a girl who will take care of him and pamper his ass. He has Ashton. He has our house. He has a newish car. He has a stable and wonderful family.

And the guy I could potentially love?? He lives in south PA. And told my roommate from college he likes me, but he won't do the distance. Naturally. I mean that would be crazy, right? Yes. It would.

And what am I going to do about my $600 phone bill!!!! I wasn't going to say the amount. But Christ on a Cracker! And for what? A guy who annoyed the buh-Jesus out of me?

My life rocks!

Really??

Hmmm....

Hmmm....

Hmmm....

So I called Ashton today, seeing it's Easter. Happy Easter, readers! He was already to bed. So Jeff and I talked.

Guess what?

That girl he's been dating for a nanosecond?? Yeah, maybe 3 months. She's moving in with he and my son. Yeah.

Awesome right? Really, really great.

Understand that I could never ever go back to a man who hit me for 3 years. He doesn't even appeal to me. But I also am not a fan of him having this woman move in with he and my son.

I can't even explain it.

He said he thinks he'll marry her. He tells me she knows everything. That makes her stupid. Okay, not really. Naive. Or I was very much colored badly. Obviously.

I told him as long as she treats my son well, and he treats her well. And Ashton can never call her mom. I would be devastated.

We aren't even legally divorced!! Still waiting on my lawyer to draw up papers. Then the judge to sign and then we have to too.

Am I wrong? Is he just thinking with his pee-pee and not thinking about my son?? Am I unreasonable?

I wish I had something tangible to hold on to right now.

Good times Reunion Style!

Had the most amazing weekend in a really long time! A girl who lived on my floor in college got married, and so a lot of my friends from college came into town. You have to understand I went to a very small private university, so most people knew all people. So we had a brother floor, and had several close "brothers" that also came down for the wedding.

My roommate from college was one of the people that came. You have to understand I haven't seen these people in like 5 years! It made me so happy to have them all come in.
(my eyes look like a cat's eyes, which is better than before when they were bright red and I looked like a smiling devil. Oh bar lighting and camera phones! :D)

We hit the bars. Krista (my roommate from back when), Kat, Michael, Justin, Tasha, & Phil (our wonderful DD) We went to The Corner bar to start drinking. Then went to Hookah Station for hookah & dancing. Funny story.

Some drunk guy gave Krista (who is married) the gun fingers. He kept doing it, so I (kinda drunk by this time) had to tell him something. I went up to him and said hi. He was SOOO drunk lol* I ecplained how gun fingers were not cool and he should not do them ever, EVER again! I made a deal. I will dance with you if you PROMISE me you'll never do the gun fingers ever again. He profusely promised. I danced the rest of the song with him and went back to our table. Justin said, "You just blew that guys mind... completely." I said, "I do what I can."

After Hookah Station we went to Basil Whippets. We convinced Mikey to where a tiara from a girl at another table... I think she was a bridesmaid to be. That dumb girl made me buy her a shot for $4.50 to let me borrow the tiara for about a minute for Mike to take the pic. Totally worth it, though I don't like her anymore. Below: Mike and I and the tiara.

So after we left Basil Whippets Justin really wanted pizza and I had told him Antonio's pizza by the slice was amazing so we went there. I linked arms with Mike and told him he had to keep me warm. By the time we got to Antonio's we were holding hands.

Justin was really impressed with the pizza. I told you, I let him know. We made the trek back to the car. Mike and I going back in forth from my arm through his and holding hands. We drove back to our hotels that were side by side. I decided going home was not the best option for me! lol* Kat and I shared a bed. Mikey & Justin hot-tubbed - still jealous - but I didn't have my suit and no, I was not going skinny dipping with them! lol* At some point in the night I texted Mike. "i just wanted you to know while I'm still drunk. I had a really big crush on you in college!" He wrote me back, "Ditto. That's why I usually always walked you back to your dorm."

Awwwwwwwwwwww...

We didn't get to see each other the next day because his ride wanted to go. We were all going to go to breakfast. But he called me that night, though I was working and couldn't talk. Apparently, he got on Krista for not telling him I had a crush on him way back when. Said, he would've made a better choice than Jeff. Total fact. We talked for a little over an hour yesterday. It was really cute. I don't know folks, but it's great to feel connected to everyone again.

Especially for how hard last week was. Breaking up with Dallas, missing Eric, and Prettyface with Abs being quite awful to me... I will never get an apology there I am sure of. But such is life! I had an amazing weekend with people I love.

And I get to see someone who was influential in my high school years today. So this has been the week of the reunions! :)

GaGa Guy!

So, some of you may remember me telling you about the guy who liked to talk God-awful amounts about himself and how wonderful he is!

Well, new story! Same guy. John & I call him Gaga Guy, because John once saw him at a Gaga themed party.

The other night I was working with Michael G. I was feeling sick and a bit grumpy and not really wanting to be there when Gaga Guy came up to the bar. Gaga Guy has a crush on Michael and Michael finds it uncomfortable and disconcerting. Gaga tries to talk Michael's ear off and Mike's so sweet he uncomfortably allows it.

He made a joke when Mike asked him what he'd like, "What do people normally want when they come up to this counter?"

I say, "Caffeine?"

Gaga counters, "Coffee. I'm not looking to buy a new car."

Oi vey! Order your damn coffee already! He does, but still thinks it's open mic night at the Sweet Eugene's.

Gaga Guy to Mike & I: So the other day I went to a restaurant. I had a bad waiter, well I mean he was bad until I had a conversation with the manager, and then he got better. Anyway, so the bill comes and I ask him, 'Would you rather have a $5 tip or an $11 tip?' He tells me that a $5 is fine. I told him I was going to give him a $10, then he tells me oh a $10 would be great. I tell him too late.

"Well a few nights later I go to another restaurant, and after the meal I ask the waiter, 'Would you rather have a $11 tip or a $15 tip' -- he was a better waiter and it was a fancier place. You know what he tells me? 'I prefer a $20 tip' he says. So you know what I did?"

Me: Gave him a $20 tip?

Gaga Guy: I gave him a $24 tip. I mean he had such a good answer!

Me (and normally I am not this crude, he just bothers me): 4 extra dollars for having the balls to ask for it?

Gaga Guy: Well, I don't say things like that word. I guess it's just because you're domesticated.

Me: (shocked gasp)

Gaga Guy: So would you like the $2 or the change?

Me: I'm pretty sure you owe me the $2 for giving me such a burn!

Gaga Guy: Huh?

Me: You just called me domesticated. Are you serious with that? That's offensive.

Gaga Guy: What doesn't it just mean native?

Me: No. You just called me a house pet. (or a housewife I suppose, but at that moment I felt I had grown a tail and whiskers)

Gaga Guy: Oh I had no idea! You get the $2 & the change.

Ladies & Gentlemen, no sir. You do not call this girl a house pet. Now he tried to give me some jibberish about English being his second language. But I assure you he does not have but a hint of an accent. And he speaks quite fluidly. Remember, "I have worked for the President of Peru!"

Anyway, jetting out, but my grandma found this story hilarious, so thought I'd share!!

Peace, Love, & Cappuccino!